Lau on Nostr: Bhakti When I was eight years old I fell in love with Nicole. It was my first time ...

Bhakti

When I was eight years old I fell in love with Nicole. It was my first time falling in love. I did not understand what was happening to me, but I recognized both the direction it physically gave me and a certain essence that I knew didn't require anything. Nicole was sweet, she responded to me with tenderness and answered with care. She told me she could not return the same feeling. Even though we were both only eight years old, somehow this practice seemed natural. I can't tell you what her perspective was, only what my perspective of hers was. When I went home with Nicole's answer, I noticed that I didn't lose the feeling. I didn't feel rejected, I still felt the same love. I knew then, that I loved being, I loved being part of everything, I loved myself, I loved everyone. The feeling persisted and I started nurturing it, with Nicole as the representative. I wrote her letters she never received, made her drawings that I kept in a self embroidered pouch around my neck. Nicole gave me her attention and time for part of that journey for me, I don't remember she ever told me why, but I'm grateful that she did. Now this is almost four decades ago, I still carry with me that feeling. I give it to everyone who has the interest to really see me.