NSmolenskiFan on Nostr: Relationships are the bedrock of human life; they are both what makes life worth ...

Relationships are the bedrock of human life; they are both what makes life worth living and the seeds of innovation and progress.

Not all human relationships can be based on care--there are simply too many people in the world for everyone to personally devote selfless attention (care) to everyone else. But when people instrumentalize (i.e. treat as transactional) those relationships that SHOULD be based on care--those with their intimates, whether at home, with friends, or at work--that is when we say colloquially that they are being "political."

"Political" relationships may *look* like care on the outside; often, one party to the relationship is indeed fooled that the other party does care about them. But these are not relationships of care. They are relationships of exploitation. Sometimes this exploitation is mutual; sometimes it is not. But either way, at least one party to the relationship is achieving some kind of short-term benefit from relating politically, so they continue to do so.

This is how "politics" (exploitation) comes to substitute for care--that is, for skill, competence, attention, achievement, and love. Often, institutions collapse when relating within them becomes so political that care starts to be punished. This is what we sometimes call a "crisis of culture" or "corruption."

It is extremely difficult to solve crises of culture from within. This is because the incentives of the institution have started to war against care. People who demonstrate care in any way start to be viewed with suspicion; they are seen to be "playing a different game." This is seen as a threat to the short-term benefits that most people within the game now believe are the objectives of the game.

When we talk about something like civilizational decline and collapse, this lack of care--and the politicization of relating--is pervasive. It inhabits many institutions simultaneously. Even if one institution manages to reform itself against all odds, the other institutions in their web of social connections, which they depend on for at least some things, stand against them. These "meta-institutions" to which smaller institutions belong also have "personalities of a higher order" that can become corrupt and war against care.

There is no top-down solution to this problem; the main thing people can do to preclude decline and collapse is ensure that care (selfless attention, skill, love) characterizes all of their own relating with the people closest--most intimate--to them. As each of us demonstrates care in the relationships that matter most to us, the relationships for which we carry the most responsibility, others in our social circles witness this and are influenced by our behavior. They then begin to treat their own intimates with more care. This creates a virtuous cycle that can eventually transform many thousands or even millions of humans.

But this kind of transformation takes time. It requires persistence. It calls us to have the imagination to work toward a transformation that we may never see.

Care is an infinite task. We never get to the point that care is no longer required. Instead, we get the privilege of continuing to build upon the foundations built by the care of others, the vast majority of whom we will never know. And we too will be forgotten, but our care will leave a material imprint on the world in the kind of world that it makes possible.