So at about 3 I woke up to go to the bathroom. Two words: tripping balls. I was aware from previous experiences that the slight feeling of anxiety was expected, so I didn’t let it get to me. But the visuals. Holy shit.
I am convinced that some of the origins of Man’s awareness of a higher power may have been discovered accidentally through chance ingestion of psilocybes. I wasn’t trying to guide the experience at all, but not only were there incredibly complex, colourful and moving patterns moving across my field of view, but they were consistently morphing into two repeating forms. One was a male figure sitting in the lotus position with his hands in a position of prayer. The other was a figure of a woman facing me, with arms outstretched and the thumb and middle finger touching, with the index finger and pinky slightly pointed. Both of them were covered with the patterns and colors, so it’s not like they were photographed. And both were emanating a calmness and sense of peace.
One interesting thing was the presence of fractal geometry. All of the patterns, regardless of how deep I looked into them, were infinitely scaled. And the colors were truly 256 million with a slight chrome finish.
Aside from the visuals that I knew to expect, my main purpose in doing this experiment was to see if there would be any revelations about my self or this world we are living in. The main things I felt as my ego dissolved, the nausea came, and the slight sense of anxiety persisted, was that:
1) we are all a tiny piece of the same consciousness
2) I have made big mistakes in my life and am far from perfect, but my motivations are not self serving or meant to make me appear to the world like something I am not.
I don’t know what to say other than this, other than pros and cons:
Pros:
- Cool visuals and seeing random figures of seemingly spiritual beings, that were emanating a sense of good will toward me.
- Stripping my ego away for a short time and allowing a real analysis of my motivations in how I deal with people.
Cons:
- anxiety
- inability to sleep
- runny nose
- watering eyes
- itchiness (all over)
- upset stomach
- lack of control of the duration of the experience ie having to ride it out, for better or worse.
Would do again? Not likely. I’ve experienced this a few times now, and I just don’t think there’s anything more there to learn. Maybe DMT or acid would be something to try, but I’m not sure I need to see anything otherworldly for now. I need to figure out how to make this one better. 🤘🏽
