exspiravit on Nostr: I felt my body falling into deeper pain yesterday. Like a shadow that drains with ...

I felt my body falling into deeper pain yesterday.
Like a shadow that drains with sharp and lingering aches.
Like a monster waiting to take its victim.
I'm where sleep feels so close and so much further.
I can't sleep or stay awake and it's torture.
I'm trapped.
I find no comfort.
I have no escape.
I'm my bodies enemy.
My mind is heavy and my thoughts confused and blurry.
I'm less of me today.
Even though yesterday I was less me.
Today I'm lesser me then I've been in weeks.
I feel depressed and frustrated.
Frustrated with my mind, and body.
Today is a reminder why yesterday was better.
Even though I was tired and my back taunted me with its nagging wide spread hurt.
Today is more.
And I am less.
Uncomfortable, unhappy, and unable to exact my discription of this curse.

It won't let me go.
It won't let me go...
This is me.
This is not me.

I'm but a shadow of me ninety percent of my life