johngoddard on Nostr: THE NANNY STATE I go down to the park for a beer with my friends. We all get fined ...

THE NANNY STATE

I go down to the park for a beer with my friends. We all get fined for drinking in public.

We decide to go fishing, but apparently you need a licence for that now.

An afternoon on the jet ski might be fun. Oh no, you need a licence for that too.

But they're so easy to drive...

I have a new business idea, and start selling lemonade to people on this hot Sydney day. But this gets me another fine.

Why the f do you need a permit for this?

I watch Tucker Carlson with Zyn and think 'hey that looks cool'. I order some online but the TGA destroys it at the border.

How do I get my nicotine fix now?

A pack of ciggies is $60. That's too much for me.

Last night a gang robbed my house with machetes. I need a gun to protect myself from this lawlessness because the cops are useless.

What the? I can't even buy a gun?

I post online about the gang who robbed my wife. But it gets taken down and now I'm in Court for hate speech.

Since when was this a crime?

I get sentenced to prison but tell them I'm a woman.

I get a lighter sentence and get jailed with all the hotties.

Life's not too bad in prison. At least I can afford to live here: 3 meals a day and a roof over my head isn't too bad.

And the government will pay for my sex change.