johngoddard on Nostr: AT THE ALTER OF THE TRANS GODS I change my profile photo during Pride Month so ...

AT THE ALTER OF THE TRANS GODS

I change my profile photo during Pride Month so everyone knows that I’m an #ally.

I add my pronouns to my email signature even though I’m quite clearly a man.

I play along with my “trans” colleague’s delusion by calling him Amy (despite the fact that nobody could mistake him for a woman).

My daughter will be infertile when she’s older because her primary school teacher thought she should go on puberty blockers. I had no say in the matter.

I have a rainbow flag bumper sticker on my Rav 4.

My wife was molested by a man wearing a dress in a public bathroom.

I pay extra tax so that trans people can have dedicated suicide hotlines.

I wonder why I have to go out of my way to “affirm” people who are clearly just depressed outcasts.

I ask a friend this question and he reports me to the State Diversity Department.

They fine me for Bigotry and put me on a watch list. I wonder what that entails.

I sit down at my computer and take bite of my Government-Approved Bug-Based Burger.

I see photos of a “bottom surgery” and feel pity for people who think this is the pathway to happiness.

I post about this on social media.

As I’m about to take a second bite of my burger, the State Diversity Police crash through my living room window.

I get tazed and handcuffed. I feel a heavy boot pushing down on my back. My face is pressed against the carpet.

They tell me that I’ve committed the crime of Spreading Uncomfortable Truths.

Apparently that’s when you share information on social media that is technically true, but does not support the State Narrative as prescribed by Dictator Andrews.

I tell the cops that I didn’t realise that was a crime.

And they tell me it’s prohibited by the COVID Emergency Powers, which are left over from the COVID Pandemic of 2020.

I have a vague memory of my birthing parent telling me something about the COVID Pandemic.

I ask the police if it’s normal for emergency powers to continue for 50 years.

They add 1 count of Weaponised Curiosity to my charges.

I get tried for my crimes by the Rainbow Court of Equitable Justice.

The three judges trying my cases represent the full spectrum of known sexualities: the Chief Justice is a MAP, whilst the other two judges are a drag queen and a trans-abled trans-woman.

They see they see the colour of my skin and find me guilty of all charges.

I must receive the maximum possible sentence in accordance with the White Privilege Sentencing Laws of 2027.

This means that I’m sentenced to death by bottom surgery.

My heart sinks because I’ve seen photos of this horrific punishment online.

I get taken to the Final Care Clinic so that I can be made another sacrifice at the alter of the Trans Gods.