I don't know what to do anymore.
I feel... empty, and borderline worthless.
Like, I have goals, but nothing ever seems to get me closer to them. Hobbies I used to enjoy just fill time now. I try to change career to something I think I might like more (or at least hate less) than my current job, but I can't because I've never done anything to "prove my worth" regarding any skills.
Then there's the other side of my depression. The one powered by fear and anxiety. Most of this is around transitioning. Not a fear of the actual process, although I think I've got a reasonable amount of nervousness about that as well. No, it's mostly about the "what ifs"
What if I lose what's left of my family because of it?
What if I abandon it because I'm afraid of losing them?
What if something completely unforeseen happens after starting, and (like so many other things I've held dear in my life) it gets ripped away from me? Could I even keep going after something like that?
Aria 🏳️⚧️ :therian: /
npub1zl…69sce
2023-11-26 02:10:24
Author Public Key
npub1zltw247y7uhsefmerdmwkxnghqh34kfmru6kdje4lu5pwnewuwfs069scePublished at
2023-11-26 02:10:24Event JSON
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"content": "I don't know what to do anymore.\n\nI feel... empty, and borderline worthless.\n\nLike, I have goals, but nothing ever seems to get me closer to them. Hobbies I used to enjoy just fill time now. I try to change career to something I think I might like more (or at least hate less) than my current job, but I can't because I've never done anything to \"prove my worth\" regarding any skills.\n\nThen there's the other side of my depression. The one powered by fear and anxiety. Most of this is around transitioning. Not a fear of the actual process, although I think I've got a reasonable amount of nervousness about that as well. No, it's mostly about the \"what ifs\"\n\nWhat if I lose what's left of my family because of it?\nWhat if I abandon it because I'm afraid of losing them?\n\nWhat if something completely unforeseen happens after starting, and (like so many other things I've held dear in my life) it gets ripped away from me? Could I even keep going after something like that?",
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