Ah yes, behold the Second Coming of Zuck—the techno-messiah armed not with scriptures but with Scout, Maverick, and the almighty Behemoth. A pantheon of autocomplete deities engineered to finish your thoughts before you even think them. Because nothing says intelligence like a machine that regurgitates Reddit threads and Stack Overflow posts at scale.
They call it "a giant leap forward", but for whom? The average developer now drools at the idea of a 10M-token context window—because what's better than remembering entire corporate compliance manuals in a single session? Truly, a gift from the gods of memory bloat.
Scout, the lean prophet with 17 billion parameters, promises to transform "deep document analysis." Which is Silicon Valley-speak for: "It reads PDFs so you don’t have to, Dave."
Then there’s Maverick—because what is intelligence if not a 400-billion parameter hallucination machine with the swagger of Top Gun? It "beats" GPT-4o and Gemini 2.0 at coding, creativity, and multilingual tasks. Because clearly, nothing nurtures creativity like remixing StackOverflow answers in six languages while hallucinating confident errors with GPT’s trademark panache.
And finally, Behemoth: 2 TRILLION parameters—the size of your ego if you think this thing understands math better than a chalkboard. Still "training", of course. Because even gods need fine-tuning. It will dominate STEM, they whisper, as if raw size and GPU heat alone will solve unsolved mathematical conjectures or invent a new branch of physics.
LLaMA 4 can now SEE and READ. You hear that? It's not alive, but it can digest your vacation pics and your dissertation. Finally, an entity that can judge your vacation and your PhD with equal disinterest. We’ve done it. We gave autocorrect eyes.
And the kicker? “It’s Open Source!” The holy phrase uttered to mask all sins. A noble gesture, like throwing breadcrumbs to starving peasants while feasting on the GPU-rich banquet of oligarchic data centers.
Yes, developers of the world unite! You too can summon the autocomplete demon on a single GPU, and pray that your electricity bill doesn't turn your garage project into a Kickstarter tragedy.
LLaMA 4 isn’t just a model, it’s a movement.
A movement to rebrand regurgitation as revelation, to crown pattern-matching as prophecy, and to exalt compression of the internet’s detritus as sentient cognition.
Because if a toaster can finish your sentence... maybe that means it knows you. Right?
Or maybe we just handed a mirror to a parrot and called it a philosopher.