I know victims of abuse can end up subconsciously seeking out other abusers, but when someone claims the other party was abusive or just Bad (friend *or* partner) every single time a relationship ends, I start to become very wary they might have a victim complex, or that they’re hiding nuances to avoid receiving any criticism.
Relationships are complicated and if one side is only being portrayed negatively, you should question it. For one thing, people can lie to cover up their bad behavior. For another, they can misinterpret things and experience denial or delusion.
Besides that, even abuser/victim relationships are complicated. As a victim I was also an enabler and that’s common. That doesn’t mean it was my fault, but I wasn’t perfect either. I enabled destructive and self-destructive behavior and it fed into a sense of purpose for me.
You shouldn’t just take someone’s word for an entire relationship. You don’t need to question them out loud if that feels inappropriate or uncomfortable, but you should leave room for doubt open in your mind, and ideally get the perspective from the other party too.
Just because someone is your friend doesn’t mean they’re always self aware or honest. You should question and be healthily critical of your friends.
:tbl: Arden :arden: /
npub15m…wqgrr
2025-04-07 00:33:06
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2025-04-07 00:33:06Event JSON
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