stray autistic cat on Nostr: Part 2: This is my childhood as an undiagnosed autistic: I wouldn't let my mother ...

Part 2:

This is my childhood as an undiagnosed autistic:

I wouldn't let my mother touch me, I'd scream as an infant when she came near me, I'd have meltdowns (I remember being on the floor having these spasms and fits) when, for example, my father asked me to clean up when I was very small child. My mom became estranged from me. I was literally told she didn't favor me when I was four.

I would not interact AT ALL with other children in kindergarden, to the point my mother was told by the teacher that she (the teacher) had failed. She also said she completely failed to get me to interact at all with her, the teacher.

EDIT: Because of this estrangement from my mother, and my brother, she wanted to leave me behind in a boarding school for children when I was 9 years old, when we lived outside the US, and my family was preparing to go back to the states. I cried... and she looked at me and said: "I thought you wanted to stay here". As if she actually thought I was so strange and unresponsive that I didn't want to be with my family!

During all this time my older brother was terrorizing me on a nearly daily basis. He'd come at me, get me down on the floor, pound his fists with all his strength into my head, making me wonder why my brains didn't spill out. He was as if deranged with older sibling rage toward me.

I clearly have PTSD from this, and C-PTSD, low self-esteem, I react to aggression (such as aggressive, judgemental, invalidating treatment online). My entire life was derailed from all that happened.

When I was in my teens I was placed in a psychiatric facility for three weeks for "evaluation" and declared to have schizophrenic affective disorder, until a year or so later another elderly doctor of psychology said that was an error and not true, and withdrew that diagnosis.

This came after my father told everyone in my world (childhood kids, teachers, my yoga teacher as a teen, everyone I knew) that I was schizophrenic and to "not give me drugs" (I'd been taking LSD in large doses in my early teens). I was stigmatized, given anti-psychotic drugs, all for an incorrect diagnosis.

I was taken out of school for no reason and placed in an all-purpose "alternative" school.

Now, did my father go around to all the people he told, retracting that diagnosis? Of course not. It ruined my teen years, to the point I wanted to escape into a yogic cult to get away from my family. Yeah, that happened. I did that.

This story goes on and on.