We were told, "You can’t have it all."
We were taught, "Love is sacrifice."
We were conditioned to believe that we had to choose—
Charm or stability. Passion or peace. Adventure or safety.
And so, we settled.
We convinced ourselves that this was normal.
That compromise was the cost of love.
That dimming our light was the price of belonging.
We carried people who drained us.
We made space for their chaos, their wounds, their shadows—
While shrinking ourselves into the smallest version of who we are.
But here’s the truth they never told us:
Settling is not love.
It is the quiet betrayal of your own light.
It is abandoning the vastness of your soul
just to fit into the tiny box the world says you deserve.
True love doesn’t ask you to settle.
It doesn’t require you to choose between passion and peace.
It doesn’t dim your light—it amplifies it.
It doesn’t drain you—it nourishes you.
It doesn’t deplete—it expands.
But first, you have to unlearn what they taught you.
You have to stop carrying people who cannot walk beside you.
You have to stop shrinking yourself to make others comfortable.
You have to stop accepting crumbs and calling it love.
This is the practice:
Learning to hold your light.
Learning to say “no” to what dims it.
Learning to let go of the parasite that feeds on your energy.
Learning to believe that you are worthy of someone who meets you as an equal—
Not someone who takes, but someone who gives.
It’s not easy.
But every time you choose yourself,
Every time you honor your light,
You’re breaking the cycle.
You’re stepping into a new paradigm.
You’re making space for the kind of love that doesn’t ask you to settle.
So no, you don’t have to dim your light to belong.
You don’t have to carry someone’s chaos to prove your love.
You don’t have to settle.
Because the love that’s truly yours?
It won’t ask you to.
Mili
#reflections
#settlingdown
