The first point you raised is a good food for thought. I'll look deeper into it.
Re "2:10 nobody said OP_RETURN is spam, spam use of OP_RETURN is spam, and we can detect it. 42 bytes of OP_RETURN is more than enough for a hash, therefore prove anything on-chain."
Coinjoin for example is a legitimate use of the network (from my point of view) and it is not relayed when the threshold is set under 42 bytes.
Re "3:15 i wonder why companies(not people) who are spamming the chain right now has to go to the miners directly right now, if filters doesnt work. these are all talked about 100 times, pure nonsense, if it made sense, ipfs would have worked."
They have to go to the miner because most nodes with default settings won't relay their transactions. So they will not be relayed organically. Filters don't work, because they can still pay the miner out-of-band - which they do currently. I don't want this to happen and don't want to encourage this. In fact, it's the benefit of removing the OP_RETURN limit that discourages out-of-band payments and such transactions can be relayed over the chain.
I do not take any issues with people running any other implementation than the Bitcoin node. I'd cautiously say that's a good thing (though atm I haven't thought about its implications for UASF and other consensus changes.)
We are free to refrain from upgrading or turn towards a different node implementation.